Starlight
by nirvana heart
Summary: Tails was pretty sure he had never been in love before.


Tails was pretty sure he had never been in love before.

He'd been _told_ about it, definitely - when Silver and Blaze began to date, the hedgehog had been telling him all about it. It was always evident in Amy, who frantically chased Sonic with no shame and no boundaries, appearing when the blue hedgehog just didn't need it. Tails had always, _always,_ been jealous of Amy. The fox was sure that Sonic would fall for her eventually, and that fact remained in his mind. But Sonic didn't falter, he didn't stay in relationships very long. That was why he was single most of the time.

The fox, Sonic's best friend, _Tails,_ was sure he was in love with Sonic The Hedgehog.

It wasn't a brotherly, friendship love - it was so much stronger than that. Sonic was his twin, his best friend, his adoptive big brother. He could to go Sonic for anything, and the hedgehog would listen, offer advice; even offer a Super Sonic Epic Super Cuddle for the _really_ bad situations. Tails could climb into Sonic's bed, late at night, suffering the aftermath of a nightmare, and Sonic would turn over and hold him until he fell asleep again.

But just _what_ was so alluring about Sonic? Tails could have listed it in four words: "His entire goddamn body." He was correct.

Tails loved every detail about Sonic. Sonic's azure quills had grown longer, swishing when he walked, flying behind him when he was out running. He looked so much older than his seventeen years with those beautiful quills, soft to the touch. Tails remembered running his hand through them, almost crying at how silky they felt, wishing he was that lucky girl who would, one day, steal Sonic's heart. The blue hedgehog also had the most _amazing_ eyes. A green jungle of determination, warm with love, and the sheer ferocity he defended his friends with. Twinkling emeralds in the night, just like the stars as they watched over the world, darkening in anger, lighting up in love, just like when he saw anyone he cared about.

The little fox was sure that his problem was jealousy, even when someone got to talk to Sonic. At sleepovers, after a few drinks, it was always Sonic and Silver that ended up on the karaoke machine singing along to terrible pop songs. Tails wished it was him instead of Silver. At dances, Sonic had danced with just about everybody including Tails but the younger one couldn't help wishing Sonic had danced with him alone. The jealousy, the love for Sonic, were both killing him inside.

Especially today. He just wanted to be alone with Sonic, but no.

Today, the boys were going shopping. Tails didn't know whether he should be looking forward to it or not. Hanging out with the boys was a laugh, and a good time, but he really just wanted to spend the day with Sonic. Especially a day like this one, when the trees were lazily caught in a breeze, the sun beating down, the sky blue and cloudless. Sonic would definitely be out running later. Tails didn't know what he would be doing.

Only an hour until Sonic and Shadow arrived to pick him up and take him to the mall.

Tails sighed.

* * *

For Sonic, Silver, Shadow, Knuckles and Tails, shopping was something they did only when necessary, or when they were dragged along by Amy. But this was boy shopping. They looked at CDs, clothes, and most importantly, food. They'd spent a long time sampling pizza, crisps, and other kinds of junk food that remained the only interesting thing in the world. Tails was quieter than usual, but nobody caught on it until he didn't even laugh at the fact Silver was dancing madly to an old 1980s pop song that was blasting through the speakers in a clothes shop. Shadow noticed, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you alright, Tails?" Shadow questioned. Tails was a little surprised by this - Shadow actually wanted to know if he was _okay…?_ It seemed strange that the black hedgehog seemed to care about him that much. But, not wishing to worry him, Tails smiled and shrugged.

"I feel a bit sick, that's all."

"That's Sonic's fault, then," Shadow chuckled, glancing back at Silver, who clearly appeared to be enjoying himself. "I tried to tell him that those pizzas were disgusting, but _no…"_

Shadow's disapproval at Sonic's taste in food clearly meant that their conversation was over: also, they were taking too much interest in the antics of Silver. Knuckles and Sonic were at the counter, paying for their purchases, totally unaware that the silver hedgehog was dancing wildly, attracting the staring of many puzzled civilians. Shadow simply glanced at Tails again, in his typical _'oh-my-god-please-kill-either-him-or-me-right-now-before-I-die-of-embarassment'_ look.

Silver stopped his antics, halfway through a move, flashing a silly smile, then deciding that action figures were much more interesting than a bewildered Shadow and Tails.

* * *

After shopping, the boys parted ways, but Sonic stayed put with Tails. They both made their way home together, carrying bags of many contents. Sonic bought a few new shirts, a CD of his favourite band, and a brand new pair of shoes to treat himself. Tails bought a few movies, hopeful that they would take his mind off of his beautiful best friend. He wished, wished, _wished_ that the sun wasn't shining so perfectly on Sonic.

Quills swaying, green eyes twinkling. It was extremely difficult for Tails not to kiss Sonic, the love and pride boiling up inside of him like nothing he'd ever felt before. Tails had been sure that the Tornado was his baby; but the love for Sonic was so much stronger, so much more _real_ than something he'd felt for a scrapheap of metal.

"Alright, little bro?" Sonic questioned happily, swaying his arms ridiculously high into the air as if exercising. "You were ever so quiet today."

"I think it was the pizza," Tails half-heartedly laughed, groaning a little to try and emphasise his nonexistent nausea. Maybe, just maybe, this was what Amy felt. The inability to love Sonic like he wanted, that barrier holding him back, friendship like this wouldn't work if they took it further. Tails felt like bursting into tears and confessing everything - was it really worth it? What would Sonic's reaction be? That thought terrified him more than anything.

"Well, we won't be trying that again, eh?" Sonic chuckled, ruffling Tails' fur, smiling at how soft the golden hairs were. "Doing anything cool tonight?"

"Movie night, probably. Join me if you want. What about you?"

Sonic grinned wildly. "Movie night…? That sounds cool! I'd love to, Tails!" The hedgehog hung his head a little, but was still smiling nervously. "I…I miss spending time with you, Tails. I feel as if we drifted apart."

Horrified, Tails stopped walking, and Sonic followed suit, his eyes widening a little in curiosity. Tails would _never_ let himself drift away from Sonic. This was the boy who'd stuck with him no matter what, who'd practically raised him, who'd given him a purpose in life, and Sonic thought they were drifting apart…? Tails couldn't identify the emotion Sonic was sporting, but it appeared to be one of unbridled inquisitiveness.

"What?"

"I…" Tails bit his lip. "I…why would you think that? You're my best friend, Sonic…you're my big brother…we'll never drift apart."

Met with the sight of a blue collarbone, and he realised he had been pulled into a hug. Tails immediately took the opportunity to subtly feel Sonic's quills again, sighing quietly at the soft feel, and blushing when he heard Sonic laugh.

"You love those damn things, don't you?"

"…they're really soft!"

"Ah, taking special care of them has definitely paid off," Sonic smiled, blinking his eyes rapidly to convey exaggerated love and pride, clasping his hands together. "Wow, we are seriously walking slow! Wanna run back home?"

"Not particular- _hey, Sonic! _Wait for _meeeee!"_

Laughter filled the summer air as the blue hedgehog sped off, countered by the wails of a golden fox, and even louder shrieks when Sonic rushed back, took him in his arms bridal style, and ran as fast as his legs would carry him, both of them giggling, reminiscent of a friendship they thought they had lost forever.

* * *

Later, after watching a movie and laughing so hard it hurt, Tails was in the kitchen preparing some orange juice for himself. He didn't know where Sonic was; probably lurking around somewhere, or he'd snuck out for a run. Wherever he was, Tails was happy. He needed to be alone right now. He needed to figure out how in the world he was going to tell Sonic.

Silver had caught Blaze in the mall earlier on, and immediately engaged in a quick greeting, and commenced the initiation of the kissing fest. Again, Tails had felt the green spark of envy within him ignite, coursing through his veins, tainting his heart a shocking emerald. The jealously ripped him apart, compressed him, suffocated him in a green bubble.

He knew that Sonic would never want him in that way.

Hearing a strange noise from the spare room where Sonic usually stayed, Tails made his way downstairs and silently poked his head round the door, listening in. Sonic had his back to the door, the window was open, last hours of sunlight pouring in. The red guitar in his lap, absently plucking strings. Sonic loved to play guitar and he kept his instrument at Tails', since he was there so often. The hedgehog placed the strap round his shoulders and began to play properly, humming the melody line at first, and then progressing into the vocals.

The most beautiful sound Tails had heard in his life.

He didn't recognise the song. It was either by one of the obscure, thrash metal bands that Sonic adored, or something he'd composed entirely by himself. The song was just not heavy enough, so he chose the latter. In fact, it was quite grungy. Apathetic, but still so full of a twisted form of love. Tails loved it, and he loved Sonic's voice.

The lower notes had a feral growl beside them, the higher sounded desperate and passionate, rising in a perfect coloratura, pure and crystalline in the upper reaches. Tails listened to the lyrics especially, wondering if it really meant inner turmoil or it had been written just because.

He caught a few lines - _"cry to the alleyway…" - _knowing that Sonic was singing them with every emotion he could ever muster -_ "break me again…" - _wondering if the song was about someone - _"sunrise of my love…" - _maybe even someone he knew.

But then again, Tails had never seen Sonic writing songs - _"…tell me how it feels…" - _or ever heard him mention them - _"…look into the light…" - _and why in the world they were so deep - _"…you'll be blind…" - _Sonic was generally not a deep person. He didn't like others knowing what he was thinking, but he much preferred to listen and help out others. He lived life as it came, setting rules whenever they were needed. Happy-go-lucky. Carefree.

The song was over within a few minutes, and Tails couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They poured down his face, but he let out no sobs, even though he could feel them in his throat, waiting in line to be released through his lips. Sonic strummed the final chord - the most beautiful B minor Tails had ever heard - but continued to hum the vocal line, his voice trembling a little. The vocal line was shaky, until he hummed a single note for a few seconds, then gave out.

Flatline.

* * *

Tails was sitting outside, watching the stars. He didn't let Sonic know that he'd heard his song; it seemed too personal to intrude. Sonic behaved as normal, flashing smiles, bustling about the house, all before he told Tails he was going out for his nightly run.

The stars were so gorgeous, especially where Tails lived. The sky was so dark and clear, and it was just so quiet. Not a sound could intrude on nature's great meditation, and Tails was not one to break it. For the first time in his life, he could hear the sound of his own heartbeat, there to remind him, he was still alive. The silence was completely unreal - this was _dead_ silence. But Tails, strangely, loved it.

_Sonic. Sonic. Sonic. Sonic._

The hedgehog would be coming home soon. Tails had made his mind up. He would be brave, and he would confess his feelings. Damn Sonic if he didn't understand. Damn Sonic if he did. He could picture three versions in his mind: the first consisted of Sonic getting up, spitting words of hatred and running away; the second showed Sonic cuddling him, understanding as a friend; the third was obviously his favourite because Sonic would return the feelings and kiss him, and it felt so good, so _good…_

Tails couldn't remember when he wasn't in love with Sonic. He supposed the feelings had been hiding ever since he met the hedgehog, and they had gradually surfaced. He always knew he liked boys _and_ girls, but he just preferred men. They weren't loud, high-pitched, annoying…well, he didn't know any girls like that, bar Amy. But men just seemed so much more attractive to him, like they knew how to totally satisfy him in all kinds of ways, even if Tails had never thought about Sonic sexually before.

He was alone. No one would ever know what he was thinking. His mind was a safe haven. He closed his eyes, smiling to himself. Sonic, wearing nothing, bearing it all for Tails. Sonic lying beside him in the aftermath, gasping for breath, pleasantly surprised at the younger one's dominance. _Oh, Sonic…Sonic, Sonic, Sonic…_

"Hiya, Tails!"

Sonic.

Damn him.

Tails opened his eyes and turned his body to see the hedgehog standing beside him in the back garden, looking up at the sky. From where Tails was lying, no other surroundings obstructed his view, and Sonic was at one with the sky, looking into his dreams, his future, his heaven. Tails hoped that he was part of it somewhat.

"…beautiful…"

"What?" Sonic chuckled, lying down beside the fox. Tails' eyes widened in fear. Had he really said that out loud? Had he honestly called Sonic 'beautiful' to his face? This wasn't right. Tails had to cover it up. The sky was beautiful. Not Sonic.

"The sky, I mean."

_You are the most stunning man,_ Tails thought. _The sky is nothing compared to you. Oh, Sonic…oh, G-God…I love you. I love you…you are so beautiful, so kind to me, so gentle…I want you…I really, really do…_

He shuffled a little closer to his best friend, who didn't object at all. In fact, he welcomed it, laying an arm around Tails' shoulder as they stared at the stars together, gazing thoroughly into the infinite beauty that was space. Sonic happily sighed. After that run, it was good to spend some quiet time with his best friend, his little brother, Tails.

"Tails…?"

"Yes, Sonic?"

"Do you ever…wish you could fly to the stars?"

That one was surprising. Normally, the hedgehog knew what stars really were and thought nothing more of it. Rather than a massive ball of hot air, it was startling to see him consider a star as a beautiful, philosophical phenomenon. Much like dreams, erupting from the black velvet of a subconscious, twining reality with the mind's hallucination.

"I…do, actually…why do you ask?"

"I don't know," Sonic smiled a little. "Maybe…well, you know how you fly…flying makes you feel free, right…? I wish I could somewhat run in thin air…so I could run to space…see how far I could go…running forever…away from reality, it could be my escape…that's why I run every night. It's…therapeutic. It makes me feel like I can do…anything…"

Tails was sure he was going to cry. How had he not noticed this before? Of course Sonic ran because it made him feel free. Honestly, who would go out running every night, as fast as the hedgehog could, because they just wanted to? Of course it made Sonic feel powerful. Tails had experienced running with Sonic, and it was the most amazing feeling. He would give anything to be able to run like that.

He turned to look at the hedgehog, whose bright, emerald eyes were twinkling along with the stars. As if Sonic had stars for eyes. They were always warm with love, faith and hope. Tails had always had a dream he would, one day, be able to reflect the same in his blue own. Hands moved, lips parted slightly to gasp…hands touched. Tails had made his move. He was holding Sonic's hand, and the hedgehog hadn't shoved him away.

"Tails…?"

"Sonic…I…wanted to thank you…for always being there for me…" He gave the older boy's hand a tight squeeze. "…I honestly can't say it enough…you gave me a reason to _live,_ Sonic…I live for you…"

The two were looking at each other now, Tails happy at Sonic's reaction, which was one of pure, unconcealed amazement. Sonic had never had anyone say those kind of words to him before, and it made his heart begin to beat faster, his hands clammy with sweat, but still, he held on to his best friend. He loved Tails. Really, truly, loved him.

"Tails…"

The stars watched as Tails hitched a breath, closed his eyes, and pressed his lips to Sonic's for four seconds. In those blissful, thought-less seconds, Tails just managed to comprehend that Sonic wasn't pushing away, or at least, hadn't sped off to somewhere else by now. The hedgehog was actually returning the kiss, letting go of Tails' hand, only to rest it on the fox's cheek, stroking it. Tails felt a happiness he had never experienced before, soaring up to the stars with Sonic, achieving his dream, his love. Instinctively, his hand reached for the familiar quills again, relishing in their touch, prompting an aroused whimper from the hedgehog. Tongues met, finding a light rhythm together. Sonic tasted of his familiar apple cinnamon; almost intoxicating. As they broke away, Sonic stared at his best friend - his love - with a new light. Tails was sixteen, he was eighteen. And in this moment, Tails looked so much older. Naturally, he was smaller than Sonic, but he began to notice details in Tails' face that hadn't been seen before. The tiny scar on his left cheek from battles with Eggman, his beautiful, watery blue eyes, his lips, his entire face…

Sonic was sure he'd never been in love before. Actually, he'd been in love once, and this was it. In that kiss, he realised that all those years of being Tails' friend, he had loved him just that bit more. He closed his eyes, his face pained, sure he was going to begin crying. _To think what I could have had…all that time…_

Tails rested a hand on Sonic's cheek, thumbing the bone underneath, having the bravery to do so at last. The hedgehog rejected no advances, deciding to make up for lost time. He moved closer to Tails, took him in his arms, and just kept kissing him. The fox sighed in contentment, elated that his advances were taken so well. The warm tingle whenever Sonic pressed his lips on his face, his neck, his collarbone: Tails relished in it, craving it. The two new lovers lay there for a moment, taking in what they had just shared, the line they had just crossed, and the new lines that were slowly appearing to them. Up in the sky, the stars continued their silent watch from the heavens, all focused on Sonic and Tails in their private, loving moment together.

"S-Sonic…"

"Mhmm?"

"I…I love you."

A chuckle, and then another euphoric sensation of kisses.

"I love you too, Tails."

"Do you really…do you want to…give it a shot?"

"You know it."

Tails smiled, their foreheads touching, lips ghosting, noses brushing against each other. This was it. This was heaven. The ultimate pinnacle of love and friendship, the consummation of fears and doubts, the love vocalizing the sensations and silencing the inner demons that had plagued Sonic and Tails ever since they were old enough to realise what love truly was.

"Tails…Tails, baby…"

A gleeful snigger from the fox.

"I like being called that…"

"Then it'll just have to stick with you."

Sonic the Hedgehog held Tails tight in his arms, smiling and feeling a true happiness root in his stomach, blossoming like a beautiful new flower in the heart of springtime, as if he'd been reborn, found a new purpose in life. He had no reasons for loving Tails. He just did. But if he was forced to provide one, Sonic would have still turned away.

Love with meaning is not love. Love has no meaning, and no one can measure it. Love will always prevail, and conquer all. If Sonic learnt anything from Tails, it was one thing.

Love is everything.


End file.
